apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
