arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
