Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
