She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
