i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
