I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
