So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
