I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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