when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
