on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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