Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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