Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
