she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
