I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
