If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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