I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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