he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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