He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Someone signed my nipple.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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