how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
