found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize