when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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