I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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