You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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