Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize