the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
