Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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