just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
