so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
