Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
