Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you would pick up someone in the library
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
