It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
