she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
