Actions speak louder than pants.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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