I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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