do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
