Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I need water and some morals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
