You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
