Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
