I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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