Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
