Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
