I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize