I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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