Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize