I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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