So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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