i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
