i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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