it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize