life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
