Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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