i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
