I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
