these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
