If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
this hospital has no fireball
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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