hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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