actually, I'm a sock model
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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