Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
