So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
