U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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