You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
