okay pat passed out under dana's car
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
do herpes really smell.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
