It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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