After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
