i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
