Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
