Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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