We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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