And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
