yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
